Thursday, August 18, 2011

The Way Out......

Bees seem to have something like human minds, exactly the same kind of stupidity. The doors may be open, but if a bee is inside the room, caught inside the room... and she may have come from the open door but she will try to get out from the closed window. Not only bees but other birds also behave in the same way. Any bird can enter in your room; the doors are open, he has come from the door, but he cannot go back from the same door.

He starts trying to get through the wall, through the ceiling... and the more he tries, the more desperate he becomes, because there is no way to get through the ceiling or through the wall or through the closed window. And in that desperation, frustration he becomes more and more blind, afraid, scared. He loses all intelligence. And the same is the case with human beings.

One day Buddha came into his assembly of the monks. It must have been just a morning like this. His sannyasis were sitting and waiting for him. They were puzzled because this was for the first time that Buddha had come with something in his hand – a handkerchief. They all looked at the handkerchief What was the matter? There must be something special in it. And Buddha sat on the platform and rather than starting speaking to the assembly he looked at the handkerchief, started tying a few knots in it, five knots in all.

The whole assembly watched – what is going on? And then he asked the assembly, ”Can anybody tell me: is this handkerchief the same as it was before the knots were tied?”

Sariputta said, ”This is a tricky question. In a way the handkerchief is the same because nothing has changed, in a way it is not the same because these five knots have appeared which were not there before. But as far as the inner nature of the handkerchief is concerned – its nature is concerned – it is the same; but as far as its form is concerned it is no more the same. The form has changed: the substance is the same.”

Buddha said, ”Right. Now I want to open these knots.” And he started stretching both ends of the handkerchief farther away from each other. He asked Sariputta. ”What do you think? By stretching farther will I be able to open the knots?”
He said, ”You will be making knots even more difficult to open because they will become smaller, more tighter. ’Buddha said, ”Right. Then I want to ask the last question: what should I do so that I can open the knots, the tied knots? How I can untie them again?”

Sariputta said, ”Bhagwan, I would like first to come close and see how in the first place the knots have been tied. Unless I know how they have been tied it is difficult for me to suggest any solution.”

Buddha said, ”Right, Sariputta. You are blessed, because that is the most fundamental question to ask. If you are in a certain fix, the first thing is how you got into it rather than trying to get out of it. Without asking the most fundamental and the primary question, you will make things worse.”

And that’s what people are doing. They ask, ”How we can get out of our sexuality, greed, anger, attachment, jealousy, possessiveness, this and that?” without asking, ”How in the first place we get into them?” Buddha’s whole approach is, first see how you get into anger. If you can see the entrance, the same door is the exit; no other door is needed. But without knowing the entrance if you try to find out the exit you are not going to find; you will get more and more desperate. And that’s what people go on doing. In the scriptures, what are you looking for? – solutions. You create the problems – and the solutions are in the scriptures! Why don’t you look at the problems yourself. How you create them?

Why don’t you watch when you are creating a certain problem? And you create every day, so it is not a question that you have to go back. Today you are going to be angry again, today you will feel again the sexual urge: see how it arises, see how you enter into it, how you get hooked into it, how it becomes so big like a cloud that surrounds you and you are lost in it. And then you go to ask others! You are functioning almost like a stupid bee. 

Bees can be forgiven, but you cannot be forgiven.  :) @Osho

Monday, June 6, 2011

Life & Turbulence

It has been a long official outing. Work kept me occupied but to be fair, I kept myself occupied with work. The good thing about travelling is you come across various people. You get to know them, interact and who knows another good friend in the making. And especially when the place is N.Delhi, you can't complain. C'mon you are in the capital city ;City filled with lot of Dil's ;)

After all the work and fun, while I was returning back home by Spicejet Delhi-Bagdogra flight, everything was going well. I got the window seating. I just stared through the window and it was a splendid view as usual. Again the same feeling, let this flight fly and fly. I don't want to land . Let's keep on flying.

Lost in my thoughts, suddenly interrupted me in fact all of us..Please fasten your seat belts. The flight is about to face turbulence.Please donot panic. No sooner did she make this announcement, people started to panic :) It was like they were supposed to face Yama-The God of Death or like this was the end. I was hardly perturbed. After 10 min or so, heavy jolt and turbulence did greet us. A man in his 50's who was CEO of some big hotel group sitting beside me questioned - Mr.... what's wrong with you ? Are not you scared ? You can be hit badly. I remained silent. Then the turbulence started increasing. Women started screaming,Children crying. While some started praying God and offering prayers. With all this happening, I was laughing. That CEO could not control and said... look are weird or you have gone nuts. What makes you laugh? You never know this can be your last journey. You cannot trust these Indian planes. This can go down any moment.

I said, See its simple....I don't fear death. I have given up on everything. I have nothing to loose. Yes-a concern for my parents. It will hurt them badly. But this life and its turbulence, we are used to. Ironically, Death comes first to those who want to live badly and those who want to die , Death keeps them waiting. I recalled one of incidents, my elderly brother Sushil Rathi from Mumbai, He died of blood cancer. I recall the time I spent in Mumbai with him while I was kid. He was full of life. He wanted to live badly.I could see that in his eyes. I really loved him. One day I got the news that he passed away. So the rules of God are really harsh. To add some humor to cheer him, I said CEO sahab .... Aapke samne itna bada paapi bhetha hai....marenge nahi aap. And as I told this, the turbulence had come down - a sigh of relief for all.

Finally, the plane made a safe landing, as we could see the Himalayas.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

U are the only one..

People ask me how are you so strong, unmoved and brave?
I say it is because of YOU...........
People ask me how do I move on?
I say it is your 'unscathed love' that inspires me.....
People ask me where do you get your strength?
I say through the lingering memories of you............
People ask me why do I still care for you?
I say it is because of the innocence that always shined through you...........
People ask me why can't I let you go off my mind?
...I say it is because you give me strength in my woeful days........
People ask me how do I continue on in life?
I say it is because of the determination that I saw running through you...........
People ask me where do I get the purity of my thoughts from?
I say it is because of the unblemished thoughtful love I saw in you..........
People ask me why do I still love you?
and wish I had told this to you...........

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Road not taken...

It’s Robert Frost again! This time the poem The Road not Taken which is basically about the decisions we take, the choices we make and their impact on our lives. And, no matter how hard you try to escape, you always have to make a choice!

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

A Inner view of Subash Ch.Bose..

All of us know the Netaji side of Subash Chandra Bose. Just sharing the inner person of Him. The romantic, deeply emotional side of Subhas Chandra Bose, and the kind of lyricism reflected in the letter that he was writing to the woman he loved, is a surprise for most of us.

It also underscored the personal sacrifice that both of them made because of Netaji's first love -- his country. He was constantly having to leave Emilie and go back to India in 1936 and then again in January 1938. And then, when you think of it, their daughter Anita was born on November 29, 1942 and on February 8 the next year, he was embarking on his submarine voyage.

After 1943, he never saw his wife or daughter again because he had gone to Southeast Asia to fight his final battle for India's freedom...............

Monday, May 30, 2011

Happy-Sad not Sad-Sad :)

Was watching movie CHEENI KUM. Have seen it number of times. Love this little conversation between the Little Gal (Sexy) & Amit ji (Budha). Sexy to Big B :

Tu sad sad kyon hai, happy-sad kyon nahi?
Hum sad kyun hote hain? Kyonki mann bhaari hai, heavy heavy!
Mann kab heavy, heavy hota hai? Jab mann ko koi hurt karta hai!
Mann ko kon itna hurt kar sakta hai? Jo mann ke very very close hota hai!
Mann ke very very close kon hota hai? Jiske sang mann very very happy feel karta hai!
Happy tha, isliye sad hai na, So be happy-sad not sad-sad!”

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Yeh Saali Zindagi..

Felt like updating something once in a while. Last few weeks have been kinda silent. The silence was more to do with analyzing and brain-storming the downside events in my life.Got a new puzzle and finished it, some new characters and all. My existent life keeps me reminding that I am still alive.

The series of events that took place in my life have made me stronger.Still a crash is a crash. The impact or aftemath can be less damaging, but somehow you get affected. Its like coming back to zero or may be negative, standing back infront of the mirror and looking at yourself and often we cannot look at ourselves, because it is too painful to do so, or because we unceasingly judge ourselves. We deny to accept facts and the situation in which we find ourselves whereas we really need to look and see, to be aware of what is happening.

It can be a weird feeling where you know everything and still don't know anything. You know there is no point in having regrets and the best option is to move on ahead in life and still you can't move. Its a strange kind of battle within yourself where mind,heart,nerves,emotions,desires and everything in you ,come into play. Life has new type of tremors for you always. For instance, I lived with a feeling of guilt. When I came out of it,I was introduced to Rejection and when I did manage to over come that too, Relegation was there in store. So life has its own ways to give you pain in its own style and flavor immaterial you like it or not.

One thing is for sure, you don't remain the same person you used to be, once you deal with harsh events of life. I was a maverick,eccentric, naughty guy. Now I would find hard to define my own self. I search reasons to laugh and smile and that is artificial. I have always believed..Laughter should come from inside. Are we ourself responsible for problems in our life and is it wrong on our part to blame it on destiny,God or someone else. Should not we accept our fault for failing to control our own desires, greed, expectations that has landed us into a terrible state. If the intentions, expectations were pure,true and noble then were the results appropriate. I am told Man has a reason and God has even a bigger reason. In my own life, I have never been demanding,mean or selfish in my prayers to the Almighty. And if at all I wished was for a small quantum of happiness in life too was wrong, what am I doing as a Human. Don't I deserve to be happy, peaceful and live a normal life.

They say..Listen to your heart, mind is always divided. But in this real world people have been successful who have listened to their minds instead :) And ironically there will be few people with whom you can share all your problems, one who will listen to you with patience and encourage you with positivity. After all the series of thinking, I am of the view that Life is just like a tyre of the vehicle, immaterial the road is bumpy,rocky or smooth, you have to take the ride, unless you are taken off.

You need to move on...forgetting that divided mind still thinks and a broken heart still beats.Let this heart break and mend. Let this soul shatter and reform. Let this mind become weary but it will rest. There is nothing left to loose...A bend on the road is not the end, unless you fail to make the turn. LIFE KNOCKS US DOWN, WE NEED TO CHOOSE WHETHER TO STAND BACK OR NOT...

Thursday, May 12, 2011

To Coimbatore...

As we were leaving Goa, me & my friend were in a strange confusion where to head. All our plans were out of place and this is why I don't believe in planning. I believe time and destiny play their role. We had planned to visit a Temple in Kuki near Mangalore, then head to Coimbatore and Ooty.

Ultimately, it was decided that we join Khiru Bhai at Hubli. We left at night and were at his home at 2am perhaps. Fully exhausted. We were given a room. Once we were on the bed, we we
re out of the world. I woke up at about 9 am & was introduced to Khiru bhai's family. We had our breakfast- the Gujarati menu but the change was good.I was informed from home and frenz that it was Hanu-man ji's birthday. I needed to pay Him visit and offer a gift and seek blessings. I hate missing one's birthday ;) I got the opportunity to visit the old and famous temple of Hanu-man ji at Hubli , which never I had thought of. There was same temple of Murugan nearby Coimbatore, so Mangalore was cancelled. We had to board Bangalore Shatabdi Exp at 2:00 pm. It was 1 pm already. We had delicious and great varieties in lunch prepared by Mrs.Khiru & His H'nble mother. We were at the station and as usual my friend was perturbed with the fact that we didn't have prior reservations. But I am a frequent traveller and I am used to board trains even without a proper ticket ;) If I am supposed to board and reach a place, doesn't matter for me which train, flight or time it is. I just need to reach. But my theory implies to me or other weird people around ;). We had tickets and anyways the train had plenty of vacant seats. Khiru bhai waved bye ,as the train left.

The train reached on time at about 10 pm in Bangalore City. We were short on time. We had 10-15 minutes to board Mumbai-Coimbatore Exp standing on PF-3. We had got down at PF-8. We needed to reach PF-3 that too by crossing the tracks with our luggage and laptop. It was really painful. We did that. 5 minutes and that train would leave. My friend was not ready to board train without a ticket. I said ok..chill , let me do a SRK. I need to reach Coimbatore anyways. I ran and ran, even P.T.Usha would have applauded. My workout on treadmill was coming to use. But they say use your brains too. I forgot the fact that I was crossing the unmanned and open tracks , where trains were moving. I must say I took a risk something like Aamir Khan in Ghulam. I had no time. I was at the counter. And guess what it was a big-big line. I don't understand when India will get free from this queue system.(In Calcutta, I was astonished to learn the fact that there was a queue system even for going to a toilet)

A Kannada lady was sitting in the ticket counter. I went straight to the front. People started shouting. I simply said..."I don't understand your language, jitna gali bakna hai baklo" kindly co-operate..or else I will miss my train". That lady was quick to grasp. She asked where do you want to go..I said Coimbatore...She said your train is about to leave. go fast and cautiously cross the tracks, as she issued the ticket and smiled. That smile did wonders. While I was going through this, my dear friend kept me calling on whether he should get in or stay out of the train. I said..go in ...board in AC. I ran again... The engine whistled. I said ..please just more 2 minutes... I was on the platform running. Everyone thought what's wrong with this guy. He went running and he is back running. Train moved, my friend was at the door. Finally I got in.

My another theory: If you need a berth in AC coaches, attendants ko patao. Never say Hey..or You...ask him his name and call him by name. People like to be called by names....Give him a tip and that too will work, if you need extra pillows, blankets ;)

I quickly applied that and thankfully TTE was Telugu speaking person. Now was the time to speak Telugu. It worked. We were given berths FOC (Free of Cost). The good thing I found in Southern India, TTE"s never asked for their service charges unlike Northern India and I appreciate that. With all this, we forgot to have dinner and it was about 12am. I took energy drink which I bought from Goa .My friend had his puff of drink ( in the toilet ;) ) and I hate that. We kept on chatting ignoring that others were sleeping. We too slept......

Finally, we were in Coimbatore in morning.That lovely morning after a was pleasant. My friend believed taking a Hotel nearby station helps a lot whereas I always believe in knowing and enjoying a new place -move to center of a city. I have a bad habit of saying we took Hotel nearby station. It was not upto the standards, but no options. We had to visit the Muruga
n Temple at Palani about 2 1/2 hrs drive from Coimbi..We had no time. We were ready in no time. My friend insisted to skip breakfast as we were visiting temple and our sto
mach's should be empty. What the heck, now has God directed to skip your food and be on fast. ...Jesus !!

We hired a cab. The cab was as old as its driver. We learnt on the way that the songs played in his car were old too. Not that I hate old classic songs. I needed something fresh. The only good thing,the driver too knew Telugu. We reached Palani. We were late courtesy the speed of the car. I insisted I drive the car, but that elderly driver was too possessive about his car ;) The temple is on the hill top. There are two ways either take 1000+ stairs or go on the mono-rail. Most of us would prefer the latter. We too opted that. But...... the line was so big....I said no yaar..I can't wait so long. Lets climb....We both had pots containing about 5 ltrs of milk for Abhishekam with other items. We thoug
ht it would be a cake-walk. Now what we saw shook us.

It was a 90 degree incline climb, Scorching heat and Sun with full shine, bare-footed....that too with pots..!! I said lets not back out...go ahead. We climbed and climbed. It was like climbing Mt.Everest. I am used to trekking and climbing on hills. My friend got screwed ;) But I believe it was God's support, we were honest in our commitment to be at His place. We did reach finally. But by then it was lunch-time for the Gods. Doors were closed. After a hour and half, doors opened and we finally managed to have a glimpse of the Lord. Prayers were offered. The lady who was guiding us in the temple was screwing us with Tamil. We only managed to read her finger movements & expressions. The last thing I managed to read after we paid her fee was - "You both are dedicated, Next time You come, I need a Saree and both come alongwith your wives". We laughed and as we left, I seeked her blessing. I believe - Duwa dava se jyada kaam karti hai...

Next, we planned to head Tirupur again a 2 hr drive. My friend had planned to buy some tees,vests and briefs. I was supposed to meet a friend of mine.....But we saw the car and smiled again. We were
in a bad shape, tired with foot burns, hunger and what not. But anything for God. My friend said, yar Goa mein we were on a high, that has come to level now and we laughed again. I was down with the heat and extreme conditions. Even the AC was not working like the driver. So, we were in Tirupur finally and then we headed to Coimbi..

As I say and believe : You cannot plan things, our journey was destined this way along with interesting sets of people and events. We enjoyed the stay before leaving to Bangalore. One thing I don't like in Tamilnadu is that hardly anything is written in English or Hindi. It can be hard times for new people/visitors. Not all, but most of them would avoid co-operating you there, if you spoke in Hindi. I am not discriminating or being unfair to Tamilians. I too experienced that and even my buddies had similar experiences during their visits.

Never mind, I can manage in any part of the world. If you are good and capable, language and such things are not a barrier. I really loved visiting Coimbatore and the time I spent there with lovely people....

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

In search of life....

Yes I am back.... I have realized that blogging is not only about sharing your views,thoughts or life with the world but importantly it is knowing and discovering yourself .

One night at about 1 am ,while I was chatting online with a friend of mine, I came across a old school buddy. We were talking after decades. So we thought of having a re-union, meet buddies and making it a memorable one. And what was that add-on.......yes a trip to Goa.

So,I reached on 11th April 2011 at Bramhapur (Orissa) ,met all my childhood friends, my school,college and everyone I could. At night 11pm , I was with this friend of mine finally was at a Dhaba on NH-5. We celebrated the occasion followed by dinner. We left for his home in his car at about 2 am perhaps.On reaching his home, I discovered that I had forgotten my mobile at that Dhaba itself. So we drove back again and fortunately we were able to trace the mobile. We were back to his home. This time we thought of having a puff on his terrace. We were talking and deeply lost in our conversation. We realized, we had to board our train Howrah-Vasco Exp at 10 am, so time for a sleep. No sooner did we had lost in the sleep, our room was filled with toxic smoke. We ran outside the building. What we saw was hard to access...A jeep was on fire at night all of a sudden, right besides my friend's house. I was quick to be myself and asked my friend to remove his car nearby as there was chance's of catching fire as it was adjacently parked. That night, we were pouring water from top from the bathroom. Fire-fighters had come, but it was too late.

Now, who was the culprit.....we both looked at each other,smiled and slept. So, next morning as we were leaving for the station in my friend's colleague car, we were able to see the final remains of that jeep. We were at station, trai
n was bit late.We had reservations in 2AC, we occupied our berths and went for a sleep. About 2 in the noon, stomach had started sending signals. Got down and went for the hunt...damn where was the pantry car. Something was wrong ! A lady was sitting opposite, she gave a sweet smile. I saw her big big tiffin, lunch, dinner box ;) . I started the chat. Soon I learnt from her that this train had no pantry. (She was a regular traveller on this train, not to Goa but Hubli ;) ) My conversation did the trick. She was generous enough to share most of her food. My friend woke up at 4 pm. No doubt, he too was hunger-struck. He too joined me along with that aunty. We needed food. Finally at 8 pm, we were in Vijaywada Jn , to our relief we had idlis,dosas, vadas, banana's...It was about 10 pm..a question struck within our minds simuntaneously, what about tomorrow's breakfast and .

I said No problem mate..I have a good elderly friend of mine...Khiru Bhai from Kutch. He stays in Hubli. He is coming tommorow to catch up at stati
on. May be he could be of some help ;) Hubli came finally. We met Khiru bhai and he too equally was delighted. He had brought home-made food for us, so generous and kind of him. He complained why the hell these AC Coaches had curtains ;) . Train left.....We had the breakfast and then followed lunch post-noon. That delicious food made it to a memorable event. It was really really good.

As we enjoyed our journey through the Ghats,waterfalls, tunnels, forests.....we were at Madgaon It was 4 pm.

We were soon at our hotel. It was a lovely evening. We could see the beach side from our terrace. Instead of taking rest, we decided to change and go to the beach. Our friends were supposed to join us soon. No sooner did we reach the beach, we thought of a jog.

After the jog, it was time to take chilled beer and that too on the edge of the beach. When the entire country was under the reins of the Sun God, we had planned our trip to Goa. Hitting the waves of the Arabian ocean and chilling out under the beach umbrella with bottle of chilled beer as the Sun was setting down and the night with that lovely moon setting in, was the unique experience of its kind. Time ceased to be. It was humbling and peaceful. The sea at night is an intoxicating experience.That night remains an everlasting memory of my first visit to Goa.

What we did in Goa and how about things went, I guess I can write a book on it ;) We had a lovely time at Goa. We were lost in a new world, where there were no tension,fears, responsibility. There were no mornings or evenings. It was all one. At one point, we forgot which day and date it was ... We did all we could. We broke all rules. We had drives in fact long drives. We visited all the places, beaches,pubs we could.
It was only about fun and only fun.

So, the day came we had to leave Goa and part. We were on the beach. I said "..Yaar hum logon ko mile hue ek arsa hoh gaya tha....hum logon ko saal mein ek baar Goa aana chaye for a week..." We discussed about how time went by so fast, the time ,fun, and ever lasting experience and memories we would take alongwith us. We made stronger resolutions, we took time to analyze
where we stood. We realised we had lost ourself to the world. We all felt the need to regroup and stay in touch. We had beer as we said Cheers to us and Goa...I said Yaar we need to look each others eye and say Cheers, or else we might end up having bad sex life for next seven years ;)

I got to rediscover myself. Rejuvenate myself, Recharge my batteries, shed out negativities I had been living with. I was feeling stronger, confident, positive. It was like...Aaj fir jeene ki tamana hai...
People come to Goa ..some for fun, some for vacation, some for nightlife,babes...But..Goa is not all about that. It is unique of its
kind. They say no one has seen Heaven. I say I have seen Heaven at least ;) and that is Goa , a perfect place where in you find yourself, peace and love.

What did I bring back from Goa? A few fond memories. A new myself. They’re better than the best photographs. Of course, what I have written is way too short to even scratch the surface of what Goa has to offer. As I hasten back to the real world, I felt torn apart. It was time to be back to business and daily routine. Despite having lot of beers, heat and sultry conditions took toll on me. But anything for Goa.

After Goa, I alongwith one of my friends left for Coimbatore via Hubli and Bangalore....There were more surprises,fun in store which I will share sometime later.

Coming back to that burnt jeep ;) , I was informed by my
friend that we were not the culprits, it was actually burnt by the owner of the jeep itself for a insurance claim....So we laughed, but anyways did it matter us :)

They say "All that starts well, ends well", but then it for me is a new beginning...the shown is on !

Now "Why me" has transformed to "What's next c'mon"

Friday, January 15, 2010

Just ROCK ON,,,& Move on...

Hey,So technically, it hasn't been a while, but it has been a while.

I've really been busy lately, it's nice though, to feel like you're doing something good, right?It has to do with my trip to Goa next month.Getting ready perhaps.

Anyways, today was a patchy day and happened to witness another solar eclipse not fully though. As usual returned home late night from office. Watching another rocking movie ROCK ON and as I write right now, the song I hear is " Tum Hoh toh gaata hai Dil...Tum nahi " another lovely song. I like music with something behind the words, I feel as though if I can connect with a song and the missing someone - who has nothing to do with it now, then it for me is a great song.

Sometimes music can be so soothing and gives the feeling that you are connected with people who are there and yet missing...and Life moves on....and the ship in the endless ocean...